batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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