This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
