its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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