Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I am available for nakedness
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
