haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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