Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
