ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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