Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
