Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
