Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
