Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
