her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
