My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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