I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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