Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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