the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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