She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
