I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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