i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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