nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
