how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize