508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
