I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
