I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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