i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
