Your tits are I can't wait for
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
