you traded sex for a burrito?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
