Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina is officially offended.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
