i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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