Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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