Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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