Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
