I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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