My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize