fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
