Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
