In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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