i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
