Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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