i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
worst night to have a conscience
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
