Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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