You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
