you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just invented taco cereal.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
