So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
