Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
