yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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