sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
