Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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