I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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