when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I looked at my own cervix.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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