i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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