dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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