Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
