chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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