He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
