I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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