I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
