I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
