Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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