what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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