Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
